mischie

Mood:  pensive

Location: Jonai's bed, again?

Music: Treehouse by Hale

"It's my birthday...am I officially old?".. ...not merely a borrowed line from Ms.Jessica...it's undeniable...I turned twenty-Five...! whaaaaaaaat...!?!?

I shouldn't be bothered...but...uhm...Did I reach my finish line? hmmmp...it's just in a movie...I shouldn't be taking it seriously, ryt? heheh...I must say it isn't actually reaching my finish line or something...for whatever it means to anyone..as long as I'm still good the way I live my life...It's still fine!

Think positive...I'm welcoming a new year of my life...I should be glad...there's something to celebrate..

"Why do I need to dwell on something which isn't noteworthy...?" It's a waste of time actually...Perhaps, a total acceptance wouldn't be that hard if i"ll start to see LIFE objectively...

Countless reasons I need to be thankful for: I'm BREATHING!...my senses are still working...effective efficent so far...I'm normal...that's more than enough!  

I have my whole family beside me...especially my MOM!

Seriously, I was touched when she told me that there's no need for me to be upset...that's life! (just like what happened to her long years ago)...it would be hard to be stuck into something so unsure...but moving on isn't a bad thought @ all...there would always be a fallback..I just have to look for it...I actually felt like crying...it's like there's no need for me to ask...she's always been there for me..I owe to be grateful that God has given me someone like her...i just hope that I can be just like that...stop seeing myself too fragile that It would be very difficult to do something worthwhile..Most of the time...I find it too scary to commit mistakes in the process but what I need to realize is that I'm a normal person...mistakes are inevitable...I just have to learn how to live with it!  

Change topic...hahah..I recently finished watching STAIRWAY to Heaven last weekend. Apparently, another KOreanovela! I actually cried a lot! The story was too touching that made me wonder of the circumstance I'm going through right now...It had helped me realize how fortunate I am. I may be upset that my heart life isn't good @ the moment yet It made me realize something... i'm so lucky that I didn't have to go through in that same situation...It would be very difficult I could possibly die...

........

it's been a while...
i'm back to my old self again...
haven't i figure it out the path in which im about to take..
i'm still having second thoughts...
i still do not want to let go..
a feeling of emptiness still crosses my mind...
a sudden flick of memories doesnt seem to fade away...
thinGs had been so unfair...
but who the hell would care?...
only those who feel the same...
few people would sympathize...
i just have to let myself understand...
though it's hard...

...........